You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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