No stitches, just platelets and will power
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
