why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
