he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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