She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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