Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
