Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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