That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the day after is always just damage control
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
