She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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