Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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