addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
