He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I want a musical about memes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
