dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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