It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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