About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
