How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
