Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
