I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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