He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
