That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
