I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
