"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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