Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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