Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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