oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize