Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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