were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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