the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everclear isn't food dammit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
