I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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