someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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