She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
