Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
