I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
