just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
