Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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