I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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