The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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