so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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