If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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