He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
