Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
