I hope mine doesn't look like that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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