Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
