cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think i got beer on your cat.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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