How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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