I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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