So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im holly from the hills drunk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
