It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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