Is it because I queefed?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
