I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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