Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
