I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize