Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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