so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
