If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
