this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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