my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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