Sponge bath it is.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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