If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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