My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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