Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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