Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
