ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
