oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
