White coat. Heels.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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