u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
