She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
