So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
