we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
