butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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